Vmix – Confessions of an Empty Soul (feat. NTK) Lyrics

Yeah
I’ve attempted suicide a couple times
I’m still surprised that I’m still alive
I fantasize ‘bout my own demise
I self harm for the pain to have me paralyzed
I know it’s crazy but I try to visualize the pain I feel inside
I really hate it when people close to me lie
Was heartbroken when Tiffany died
It’s been like eight years but I’m still in denial
Question religion and question existence
Apartheid taught my people resistance, ah
Black folks getting falsely convicted
Look how we live
I give and I give and never receive
I never forgive, I never forget
I just, take my feelings and I bottle them inside
Then I head off to the bottle store
Then I empty everything inside
Ain’t that ironic? Sipping gin and tonic, while the world around me gets, dim and toxic
My mental health has been, running on E
The voices in my head are too loud
I’m tryna turn the volume down like we did watching late night ah, Saturday movies on E
I feel empty inside like taxidermy
I was screaming for help, nobody heard me
Don’t trust easily, you gotta earn it
The world is judgmental so f*ck the verdict
We all have a purpose
We all leave this earth in hearses
That’s the realest shit I ever wrote
I stay driven, I keep my shit on the road
Handle my business, I keep my shit on the low
I’ve been all alone
Emotions are hardly shown
Ain’t nobody give a f*ck these days
Nobody working when it’s crime that pays
When you depressed, black parents say “it’s just a phase”
I’m not okay with that
We all have baggage, all that matters is how you carry that
Heartbreak gon’ happen, what matters is how you deal with that
Are you gon’ fold or are you gon’ carry on?
We all got fears that we gon’ die alone
I love louder than a megaphone
But bitches fake, quick to break like they styrofoam
These are confessions of an empty soul
No place to call a “home”
That kinda takes a toll
A rap orphan
You know that I rap often
I’m a rap Trojan
My flows’ ocean
I’m God’s favorite, I’m chosen
Identify as a poet
I’m the goat, the greatest to ever do it
(The greatest to ever do it)
All I try to disguise 
Just to Survive
Doesn't get easy to hide
Taking one step at a time
Night skies borderline no sleep
Knowing not what could hopefully
See me through to a dream more serene
Okay I’m too advanced
She cheated on me and I gave that girl a second chance
If you’re invested emotionally, you’d understand
Don’t ask me question ‘bout who it is
I’m just tryna vent
It’s really hard to describe the pain I really felt
My heart was broken but at least I had my soul intact
Some people get carried away some in a body bag
Was insecure and I focused on things I really lacked
My family ties started feeling like house arrest
But now I know my worth
And I ain’t never ever settling for second best
And that’s a promise
I promise to keep on prospering
Promise to keep on positive
Feeling like Santa’s kid, I got a lot to give
But I’m tired of giving myself to people who ain’t got shit to give
11:22; perspective taking now a nigga got a better view
Yeah, now a nigga got a, look
I stay humble
The game is a royal ramble
We tryna fight for survival
We pointed out like some riffles
And towered up like the Eiffel
My verses are too insightful
I don’t need you niggas,
I can do this shit without you
It’s just me, myself and I
Ain’t nobody give a f*ck whether I live or die
But you niggas ain’t gonna kill me
Wish to see you try
Nigga that’s how we ride
Proceed with caution
We drown you like it’s an ocean
We never showing emotional
Poetry comes in motion
My ‘motions are roller-coasting
Bought you a bunch of roses
I’m sorry your nigga ghosted
Sorry your heart is broken and you barely coping
You don’t wanna be alive but you don’t wanna die or make your mama cry
So let’s be honest, it’s just you and I
And I’ve been with you from the very start
And I’ll be with you when you climb the charts
Intergalactic, I connect the dots
Yeah
It's hard enough to track where the day's went
Let alone the path that I've taken
Knowing what it is from what it ain't gets
Hard enough to separate
When you feel out of place
Trying to shake it
Stuck in a crisis that's been nothing new
When you're left to your own devices you
Wishing the memory's whipped clean
But that don't mean your slates free from wrong
Since we all grown
There's certain things that
You got to learn on your own
Can't have someone else
Fight your battles
Less we talking bout the God that I serve
Know he's given me more than I deserve
On the one hand I'm stuck in my ways
Then again I've been praying for a change
But It's easier said than done when you
Facing fears you know you can't outrun I ain't
Looking to cop out facing what's headed my way
I be taking the time out to say what I need to say
Feel what I need to feel
Do what I need to heal
Got to keep on pushing on with so much on my plate
And we all know pain
In a way makes us one in the same
Neglecting yourself is one dangerous game
Not knowing yourself makes it harder to aim
And love for myself is the first that I claim
All I try to disguise 
Just to Survive
Doesn't get easy to hide
Taking one step at a time
Night skies borderline no sleep
Knowing not what could hopefully
See me through to a dream more serene