Tullis – Nmy Lyrics

Is it weird I think of people who don't think of me
Is it weird I can't erase all of the history
Is it dumb I think the future ain't a mystery, sitting in my misery and hoping you'll be missing me
I'm brighter than a quasar, darker than the universe
When will the pain go I let it go into the verse
I can't sleep I feel the earth begin to levitate
I lay awake with my demons and we all meditate
I am the universe
God is a woman who doesn't love me I think that I'm hated down to my cuticles
These square people are stuck inside of their cubicles
I think I'm dumb for thinking of what'll happen next
I ain't living, I guess that I just exist
When I'm waking up I stare into the great abyss
We just matter who don't matter but want matter
People dying from shotguns and brain splatter
I tried to check into the hospital, but they didn't have a bed for me
I feel ashamed cause I ain't regular, while I'm watching everybody else prospering
I want happiness
I want love to be easy just like the movies
I want my nephews and niece to know I love them still 
Don't want to feel like I'm crazy when I be taking pills 
I just want a better day
I just want a better day
I'm just scared that I can't be saved

I feel ugly, I never understood why anyone would love me 
I guess
I never seen myself the way you see me, feeling dead inside like I won't bleed
Like I'm not good for you
I'm not worth enough
I'm too crazy so I'm not worth the love
You all smile, on all your instagrams
Get your likes, while watching them but that's not life
Life is when you bury your cousin and then you have to save some money just to fit in the budget 
It's when your friend dies slow of an overdose
It's when a dad sees his daughter on a stripper pole
When a mom lose her son to a xanax pill and she ain't have enough money for the funeral bills 
It's when 
You don't recognize yourself in the mirror cause you high
When you on the edge of a building that's too high
When you wanna jump but then you just cry
And when your own family tells the most lies 
So put that up on your instagram
Tell the truth about your happiness
If you got the answers you can let me know 
I'll be here waiting but not for long
Cause time is knocking on the door we all dying, some more than most

I just want to feel good enough
Love myself
Love myself, and you

You just want to feel good enough
Love yourself
Love yourself, and we'll be fine 

I want happiness 
Something that will hold
I don't want to lie 
When I say I'm good