Will Walton – I Want to Scream Lyrics

I want to scream, need to scream about everything inside of me 
This darkness, this happiness, deep in me, all this pain, this agony 
But you'll tell me I'm dramatic and that it'll pass through 
But it keeps coming back so what should I do 
Oh wise one? Knowing one, staring me in the face 
Back at me through the mirror, such a damn disgrace 
The smile on my face, that I constantly fake 
The smile that lies to everyone day after day 
Trying to look like everything's okay 
But it's never okay, no way, not today 

Something's wrong with me and I can't find a way to fix it 
I'm clawing at the walls, nails come way on the bricks and 
I'm trying to scream but my voice is gone it seems 
I have no mouth and I must scream 
I want to scream need to scream 
From the bottom of this pit that I keep finding myself in 
Pull yourself together, what's wrong with you? 
Everything is wrong and I need to break through 
Oh we're doing this again, this ain't the same song 
Where you write a way out and pretend that nothing's wrong 
But everything is wrong and I don't know what to do 
You plague my existence I can't get rid of you 

I live without direction, you're the reason that I'm faithless 
You colour me grey and you leave me feeling weightless 
It's gives me time to think on many a bad day 
How an all loving thing could make this big of a mistake 
Because if you really exist and I'm part of your plan 
Then you're trying really hard to get me back, man 
Because I've yet to go a week without asking if it's worth it 
Without feeling disenfranchised and worthless 
Get out of my head, don't want to do this anymore 
I'm a broken record, I've heard this all before 
I'm about ready to knock on your door 
Because I'm tired of being kicked to floor 

Is there something wrong if I can never fix it? 
Like an open wound that's getting infected 
Denial denial, I won't face what I'm feeling 
But I can recite the nuances of my bedroom ceiling 

And though you try to help it never seems to work 
And it nearly always end in you getting hurt 
But even in the face of that you left me a rope ladder 
In the hopes that I'd come and find you when I was better 

But it was too much weight and the ladder broke in two 
But I'm gonna fight and make my way back to you 
In a moment of clarity from the cloud of self-doubt 
There's no ladder so I'll grip these bricks and pull myself out 

Bloody knuckled, up this wall I climb 
I feel it try to pull me back, but not this time 
Pushing through the blockades in my brain 
I know I'm struggling but I'm gonna win this game 

Closer and closer to the light of day 
Closer and closer to a means of escape 
If only temporary, but god do I need this 
If I'm ever gonna get on track to defeating this