Discord Rap Battles – Charlie Brown vs Charlie Sheen (feat. Fightmarker) Lyrics

This is execution, deploying ordinance, leave you shot dead
I don't take second place, 'specially 'gainst depressed blockheads
So get off my team, twerp, even Sally can't match your bitchin
Chuck can't ball like I do, you've been losing since the pitchin
I'm not a drug you can handle, you really wanna take me
You droopy-rhyming snoopy swiping runt, I'm crazy
I won't be picked on by a kid who can't party and lacks friends
The benders I've been sent on would kill 2 and a half Men
I'd pass you the mic but you'd fumble it to the endzone
Cleveland Brown lines up just to get stuck in the friendzone
Method actin's great, but the bars you get are prison
When your voice took after you, and started stalking women
My raps will knock you flat on your ass, and hospitalized
And you'll miss me so hard, you'll cry: WHY CHARLIE, WHY
But I know I'm a nice guy, a hero aiding charity
So have a nickel baldy, scram and get Lucy's chemotherapy

When mentioned, the response of revulsion is expressed
It's a guess, but is this The Charlie Sheen Effect
Laugh tracks correct, I'm sorry, but I'm the one who snorted
If the world forgot you, you probably weren't that important
This charlatan Charlie Sheen is hardly seen as an actor
The best role you play is yourself, so does this even matter
You'll be punted off-set, another Chuck makes you defunct
The last time I saw you un-drugged was on a CBS Rerun
I feel bad for your kids, because their Dad barely cares
My parents don't even spew as much nonsense as theirs
At this point we're splitting hairs, like those divorces you filed
Between a Cryer and a Harper, you're both the man and the child
I'd say stop making gambles but... (sigh) just forget it
You'd still fraud your family tree to deflect being anti-semitic
Your brother's in the brat pack? I can't help but feel lied to
I draw in audiences, you hang with more sketchy characters than I do

Check the walk of fame, Snoopy's the party animal you'd rather be
More spineless than Linus, you're the worst in the Peanuts gallery
I make girls comic strip down to socks, non stop
The only chick you ever pick up? Kid, it's Woodstock
If I was as high as your kite, the roll I'm on would stop
I'd be lonely, I'd be boring, and I'd not be at the top
Keep complaining 'bout your rocks, what a buzzkill, man
GODDAMN, the ones I'm banging are 7 frikkin grams
You're wallowing in misery, I'm drowning in cash
Like Shultz in a war, keep what you write in the drafts
So accident prone, no wonder you sold out to insurance
I beat you twice, call this bi-winning, 2 verses

Kids won't be the only thing copped from this creep
It's crystal clear you lost your marbles, and I'm playing for keeps
An anti-vaxx takes shots at arms, didn't stop when his scandal hit
Now you're broke and alone, dying for more Anger Management
Discussing allegations, Corey's the one worth believing
And your role in 9/11? That's not good grieving
For once I'll stand up, I didn't want to be mean
But I guess every day's an Off Day when it comes to Charlie Sheen
This alcoholic should stay anonymous, I'm iconic, timeless
Can't touch poetry when your own bi-winning's rhyme-less
Like a Macy's Day Parade, you got served, Thanksgiving dinner
Absorb this: I'm less a sore loser than you'd be a winner